Heavy heart with heavy mind!

Something in my veins
Is running unclear
I wish that could blood
But that’s just fear

I wanna cut that vein
And tear that apart
That is something
Which is troubling my heart

Oh! My mind
Just get some chill
You’re not a labour
So don’t you drill

I see those eyes
That was filled with shimmer
Now they are just getting
Hollow and dimmer

Slowly & steadily
I am getting out of my rest
Which is making myself
Nothing but a jest

Under the sky
That makes me fear
My every star
Looks so unclear

I will get myself
Out from this trauma
Breaking the borders
Just like the flowing glomma!©ruqayya_laique

Everything was so gloomy. Every picture was blurred. Slowly and steadily something was getting over me, engulfing me and was making me feel insecure about me and my happiness. What was that? The question still beats my heart with a rate ten times more!! I was in that state for a long time. I call myself lucky to get out all of that without loosing myself. It was a fear that was dancing in my nerves, a fear that was scaring me to loose my identity, my individuality..probably the only thing that makes me different from others. Not every one can understand the battle that was going through in my heart and my mind. A battle in which my competition was me..myself.. Many sleepless and restless nights i have been through to get out of this mental state. “Thankful” was a word that was missing from my dictionary at that time and probably this was the reason for everything i suffered but only this word helped me out to back with the person i was. And i am so blessed to quote that, ” I won the battle inside me”.. Even if it’s just for a period of time but now as more I get to know about myself there’s alot which is still hidden and maybe it will always going to be, but what I realized is that my journey has begun and from now I will going to be in a battle with myself daily, sometimes winning and sometimes learning. Every day I will be meeting a new me, exploring new things about myself and that is something which is enough to give me a new idea about the battle I need to win.




How time flies! It says that time heal every wound with time.. But what if the wounds will keep on burning. How time flies!! Didn’t realize how the slogan of #justiceForAsifa changed into #justiceForSanskiriti.!! I wonder if there’s any place left on the map of India where we have no blood stains of killing of innocence.. How helpless we are to raise any slogan as they have no meaning.. And as u all know TIME FLIES! I know Sanskriti and her screams will going to be hide somewhere in our newsfeeds like that of the Asifa!! Her pictures will wail for few days and then she will be in a silence with all her shattered dreams.. NOTHING will going to change EXCEPT the names of victims.. Before.. she was ASIFA and now she is SANSKRITI..!!
Still trying to open those ”never closed” eyes.. But the question is can you wake up the person who was never sleeping.?? We can’t do anything but atleast we can speak up for these harsh crimes.. Still waiting for the time to come when our politicians will focusing more towards our safety rather than their luxury.. But the grief is that, this waiting have no hopes!
We are quite for everything because these are not OUR things..!!
Are you waiting for the same thing to happen with your loved ones?
Wake up! Speak up!

I am never alone!

There was a time when i used to hate solitude. Being alone was like a cage for me from where i crave for sprinting moments of life. That time when i used to search for people whenever sit alone, i used to like to talk to people and to gather their experiences and their thoughts, it is still nice, but now i think in a different way! I start liking solitude, i like staying with me. It actually gives me an immense pleasure when i talk to myself and evaluate my good and bad things and eventually end up with a change in deep inside my soul. I realize that everyone in this world will be a better individual if they start analysing themselves rather than judging anyone else. Sometimes its better to be “just with yourself”. There are times when knowing about yourself from someone else can misguide you and you might see what is not true. Before believing in someone else’s thought we should build ourself as strong as to accept our flaws. This is what i realize about my solitude. The thing that is of biggest importance is that, “I can never be alone, I always have myself”..


I want to search for a girl in the heap of ashes of burnt dignity. I want to look up for those two magical eyes who ever dreamed of being someone like kalpana chawala or Poonam Malakondaiah but not someone like Nirbhaya or Zainab. I want to hear her melodious chirp of asking for a doll from her father, but these chirps are just a dream beacuse she ended up in her cries. So, I think I should hear her terrifying weeps of asking for help in a place where usually people go to search for peace. I should go to that place and see whether those helpless screams still exist there where people go for help. I should see each and every drop of her blood falling on the holy earth where our ancestors had fallen their blood for the sake of freedom of a great nation. I should see each and every wound on her body and her soul. I should feel her! Because I know there is no difference in between me and her, we both are in the same fault! We both are girls! We both live in a nation where we talk about beti padhao, beti bachao but only ends up holding some protest banners against the punishment of those monsters who have no heart, who brutally squashed a beautiful flower and only knows to shatter the innocent soul. We both live in a nation where we talk about cleaning but have dirt in the minds. We both live in a nation where Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and isai lives but have no existence of humans. I can see every girl of this nation in her eyes. #RuqayyaAsifa


#JusticeForAsifa #HangTillDeatb

My pen!

My pen has rusted. Its not able to even scratch a line. Every word has become blanched. It seems that the nib has smothered with the dust of hideous words. And its me, standing still and waiting for the sombre days to pass. Just waiting. The timid person that is there in me didn’t try to trudge the hill that is the biggest hurdle of my path. Its so cruel of me to bind my pen with the chains of agony. The hysteric person that resides in me tried its best to swathed the courageous girl that is an inhabitant of my soul. But its lucky me, that my courage has scuffled with all the deceived thoughts that tried to cage my mind. Now, here I am clasping my pen and narrating the yarn of its victory!!



When I see any post on facebook about how syrians are living their lives specially children how their childhood is been destroying for a war as useless as for us to post the sympathy on social media, I become numb. Literally everything seems so useless for us to write about them or to post pics. Knowing it won’t make any change in their life, it won’t give them shelter, food and it will not going to recompense the loss of their loved ones. I can’t imagine that what they have been going through while watching their families burning in the fire created by the monsters having no heart. I still wonder how their hands allowed them to cut the little heads of those innocent kids who haven’t even learned to smile! How those little ears have been tolerating the devastating noise of bombs? how their health is been declining? They have no schools for them to study, to beacome the person their parents ever dreamed but they have no dreams, they have no toys, they have no doremon in their lives, so far they are just familiar with the machine guns and they just dream of seeing a bright morning in their lives, a morning when they won’t see any more corpse. They don’t know what its like to live a normal life they just know how to wake up the next morning preparing to hear another blast. I am writing this while sitting in my room on a comfortable bed having a blanket, surrounded with my family, its too easy for me to write this but they are actually going through this. How can I feel what they must be feeling? how can I tell what they must be suffering? I am just scared of the day when they will question us that inspite of being aware of their condition what we’ve done for them, the day when they will ask to repay the debt of the blood of their martyr brothers, the day when there will be justice in the court of Almighty. I just pray for the people of syria to wake up to the sounds of birds and not to bombs.



How it feels when you find your heart completely hollow? When you want but you are not even allowed to feel it. When you have alot to say, to show but you don’t have words to describe yourself, to describe the storm that is there in your heart. How it feels when you loose yourself ? not all of a sudden but slowly and as much slowly that you can count the pieces of yours scattered here and there in your soul and no one even come to grab out all the thorns that hurts you, your heart and your soul. How it feels when u become empty?